Name’fate’

Me and my name often talk to each other…

If surname was my first name….

If first name was my surname…

Me and my name often talk to each other…

– Harivanshrai “Ajith”

Monmi “Lahiri” has her Namesake here -

http://onelifetime.wordpress.com/2009/01/07/namesake/

This is an ode to my Name’fate’…

Before starting off, let’s define a few things here (La South Indian definitions)

Name: Sorry we South Indians get offended if you simply ask for our name. So ppplease qualify name.

First Name: (OK that’s better) The name given by your parents to be called at school.

Last Name: Either father’s last name or father’s first name or surname……….or whatever.

Middle Name: Either father’s first name or mother’s last name or family name ….or God knows what.

Surname: Usually caste name

Initial: Either Family name or surname

Horoscope Name: Ya we have one of those too. If  I am in a humorous mood at the end of writing this blog, I may decide to make a fool of myself by revealing my horoscope name. Ya..that’s right I have one too.

Pheww…now that these are defined, here goes my saga. My father’s name is Karimpana Mohanan Namboodiri. Yep I know it’s a mouthful. To put his names into perspective, Karimpana is supposedly our family name which my father has for his initials. Mohanan is his first name which even though is his first name, it actually shows up as his middle name (now you know where the story begins). Namboodiri**** is supposedly our caste name (who the hell cares about caste these days!!). Luckily, my family doesn’t have a culture of having “good” and “pet” names. (Lucky because I am sure we would have figured a way to put our pet names into our good names by now).

****That reminds me I have to blog about the Namboodiris, the supposed caste that I belong to. We are a funny lot with some dubious backgrounds. Will talk about it in the coming days.

I started breathing in some general hospital in Northern Kerala (India). Unlike the more famous Nair community of Kerala, Namboodiris follow patriarchical system. So it had to happen. I think I was named K. Ajith Mohan which stands for Karimpana Ajith Mohan. Karimpana being my initials, Ajith my first name and Mohan my last name. Mohan ?? Why not Mohanan? Well….not sure why….and my dad and mom don’t know either. Anyways no complaints against Mohan. Short if not sweet. Ajith..again short. So Ajith Mohan should have done the trick, right? Then why Karimpana ??

Well for close to 22 years I didn’t ask that question. Why? Because, I was in India and since India does not have a problem with initials, Karimpana was always hidden inside “K”. So I was either K. Ajith Mohan or Ajith.K.Mohan or Ajith Mohan.K or Ajit**.K.Mohan

**Ya that’s right, North Indians never got around understanding how valuable the “h” is after “t” in Ajith for South Indians. We South Indians just love emphasizing our names. North Indians know that my name means “Invincible”. But just in case people missed it, I am INVINCIBLE. The extra “h” in Ajith is probably equivalent to that capital bold.

All was fine until the day I got my passport. In the application for my passport, I distinctly remember putting Ajith  Karimpana Mohan(first, middle, last). I had decided that that’s who I am. Ajith K (arimpana) Mohan. But as fate would have it, when my passport came, I see that first & last names are blank and instead only the given names are filled and that too “Karimpana Ajith Mohan“. Arghhh…. it took me 6 months to get my passport and now I had my stupid name all over. I decided not to pursue and instead to concentrate on getting my US visa – I guess the biggest mistake I made in my life.

With the US visa, I made sure that my application is having the exact name as I want. People take these applications just for namesake coz guess what …. my student visa comes in with first name stamped “FNU” (first name unknown !!) and given names “Karimpana Ajith Mohan“. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…….$%$^%W$%^%%&^%*Q#$@$#%$%

In the meanwhile, I must have asked my dad a million and a half times - what were you thinking dad ?? Why me ??

With barely any time in my hand, I had to fly to US with my name all topsy-turvy. Luckily, sanity prevailed at the social security administration office and they managed to salvage my first name and I was reborn in the US as “Ajith Mohan Karimpana“.  In the initial days I thought to myself – let me settle down and maybe I can go for a name change. Well that never materialized and little did I know that official data collection in the US grows on you before you can even blink.

How many permutations can you make of Ajith, Ajit, Mohan, Karimpana and K?

K. Ajith Mohan; Ajith.K.Mohan; Ajit Mohan; Ajith Mohan; Ajith Mohan.K; Karimpana Ajith Mohan; Ajith Karimpana; Ajith Mohan Karimpana…..

Well I think in some document or the other I have had almost every permutation possible out there.

It’s been 8 years now and I think I am at peace now with my name. Ajith Mohan Karimpana…..or whatever I don’t care anymore. Sometimes my wife and I think, if we were to have a baby, we would just have XYZ Karimpana. We think about it for a second and then we shake our heads and go “Karimpana??….naaaah”

Oh…by the way, I am still in good spirits…so maybe you can get some laugh at my expense. My name in my horoscope says - “Bhusala Kumaran“. What the…….%^&* ??